On occasion, we’ve run into people who claim that there are two “F words” in the English language. While we already know one of those “F words,” I believe the other one they’re referring to is “forgiveness.” There is a lesson to be learned in forgiveness for both yourself and any relationship you’re part of.
Forgiveness is a vulnerable, scary, action. It’s not worth blaming those individuals for keeping that word outside of their vocabulary. Yet, we also felt how liberating forgiveness is once you choose the lifestyle of letting pain go once you confess that life-changing word and pray for your enemies.
Every situation is different. Some people make mistakes and are suffering because of them. Others are innocent victims of another person’s actions. We cannot empathize with every reader of this post. All we can do is share what we’ve experienced, when we entered a peaceful landscape through the gate of forgiveness.
Please note that this is a generic post about forgiveness. If you’re looking to use forgiveness explanations in this post as a quick recovery tool, please contact a professional counselor, psychiatrist or psychologist if you need help with painful experiences such as murder of loved ones, war, rape, medical malpractice etc. We are not responsible for any triggered feelings that are caused by this post.
Green tea may give you a long and fruitful life, but forgiveness is much more effective emotionally and spiritually. It’s amazing what changes in your life when you forgive everybody everything before you go to sleep at night. To kill a grudge you’ve been holding onto, you have to stop nursing it. There’s nothing heavier than a huge chip on your shoulder that causes you to lose balance. When you pray for your enemies, they can’t prey on your heart. This is how I understand why forgiveness is important.
Forgive and Forget; Don’t Hate and Remember
Hating and remembering is not healthy. Forgive and forgetting releases you from one of the heaviest forms of bondage. We found that when we’re full of hate and bitterness, nothing goes right for us. In fact, our prayers aren’t answered when we refuse to forgive someone who lives rent-free in our minds.
When Aaron and I (Charlene) first got married, we had a landlord that would try to work on our tiny apartment when we wouldn’t want him to show up. Sometimes, he would arrive at our place at 10 PM when we were in our pajamas. My privacy felt violating. Because Aaron struggles with Aspergers, he felt overwhelmed with the unexpected visits. We would demand that he show up earlier but he would still knock on the door right before we were going to bed. We eventually moved out and bought our own house. We decided that we would forgive him for all the issues that he caused us while we lived in his apartment. Recently, for some odd reason, he kept calling Aaron again at our new house. We made a conscious choice not to get angry. Aaron texted him and asked why he kept calling us when we moved away from his apartment he charged us rent for. He never replied and eventually we blocked him and changed our phone numbers.
Forgiveness is a journey, and there are occasions where we have to take steps to ensure that were able to forgive.
Sometimes, the best form of vengeance is to let it go. Forgiveness will not change the past. Turning the other cheek does not forsake justice. Sometimes, you will still have to deal with the past. But letting go of the past can help you grasp the future. Forgiveness may keep those who hurt you from destroying you (we say “MAY” because this doesn’t cover physical abuse). It is muscle for your character and self-confidence.
Forgive Yourself If You Need To
It is also important to forgive yourself for what you’ve done. If you don’t forgive yourself, your hold onto false hope for a past you could have had but never exists. Even if you were able to change the past, Back to the Future proves that this form of practice ruins the future. Forgiving yourself releases you from thoughts that you aren’t good enough. It takes the label of evil and deserving damnation away from your spirit. Forgiving yourself releases you from the strength that is found in your weaknesses, quirks, and flaws. Learn to forgive yourself so you’ll have no reason to beat yourself up.
BREAK FREE FROM BAD HABITS!
Who Are We To Hold Out On Forgiving Others?
Forgiveness is important because it gives you a clear vision of the future. Praying for your enemies of your past can evict them from your future. Finally, forgiving your enemies allows God to forgive you. Even if you’re not religious and you forgive others, you’ll feel insurance that you deserve forgiveness. If God is willing to forgive us, then who are we to hold out on forgiving others?
– With love,
Aaron and Charlene